That pretty much explains how my holidays have been so far.
Yeah, I haven't been posting in a while.
There's just been too many things to think about lately.
Why can't I get myself out of the house?
Why do Youtubers make such bad comments?
Who is this Jon?
Now this may seem like changing the topic a little but I hate it when my Mum forces me to do things.
Okay, fine, she doesn't directly force me to do things but like, sorta does (if that makes any sense to you).
You see, when she wants (to force) me to do something she has two approaches.
They are namely:
1. Repetition and
2. Anti-Confrontation
Sorry for the crappy names, but I really couldn't think of any other way to label them.
Okay, anyways, in the Repetition route, she basically repeats what she wants me to do.
Over and over and over again.
It usually goes something like this:
Mum: "Do you want some fish?" Jaime: "Uhh, nope. It's okay."
Mum: "Really? You sure you don't want some fish?"
Jaime: "Uhh, yeah. Really. I'm pretty full."
Mum: "Seriously? No fish?"
Jaime: "OKAY FINE. I'll have some fish..."
The Anti-Confrontation route is pretty similar to the Repetition route except for instead of repeating the thing you're supposed to do, she changes her angle every time she asks the same question. It's called "Anti-Confrontation" because she gives every reason as to why she wants me to do something except for the fact that she just wants me to.
Mum: "Do you want some fish?"
Jaime: "Uhh, nope. It's okay."
Mum: "It's really good for you, full of uhh, stuff."
Jaime: "Nope. It's alright. I'm full."
Mum: *Takes a bite of the fish* "Mmm! It's really good! You want some?"
Jaime: "Nah, I don't feel like fish."
Then she resorts to that "It's good for your complexion route."
Mum: "It has collagen, it's good for your skin."
Jaime: "Fine..."
Yeah, so when my Mum does that to you, you just know she wants you to do it.
She just doesn't want to admit it sometimes.
Most of the time.
All the time.
She seems to think that we live in a world where we actually get to choose what we want to do for some reason.
I don't exactly hate her for it.
I just wish that she'd just, y'know, man up a little and be like, "look, I'm forcing you to do this", instead of just beating around the bush.
So when she used both of the above mentioned approaches, I knew she wanted me to cut my hair.
Oh yeah, the following list of conversations has been condensed from several conversations over the past week where she got more and more direct with wanting me to cut my hair.
It's colour coded to show the rising level of her uhh, direct-ness.
Mum: "Hmm, maybe you should cut your hair."
Jaime: "Nahh, it's the holidays, we don't need to waste the money."
Mum: "What? No, it's not wasted money! I'll pay you to cut your hair."
Jaime: "You already do."
Mum: "You look very unkempt."
Jaime: "Well, I just woke up."
Mum: "Maybe you should cut your hair."
Jaime: "But it's gonna cost us seven dollars!"
Mum: "No, it's gonna cost me seven dollars. You should really think about cutting your hair."
Jaime: "But there's not much of a point. Schools out, we don't have to waste the money."
Mum: "You looks so...hmm...I don't know how to describe it. Strange?"
Jaime: "What? Because of my hair?"
Mum: "Yeah. How should I say it..."
Jaime: "Ugly?"
Mum: "Yeah! You look ugly with your long hair. You should go cut it."
Mum: "Your hair makes you look so unkempt. It also makes you look so old."
At that point, she wasn't making sense anymore.
I mean, old people should have less hair right?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
So yeah, I cut my hair today.
It's REALLY short now.
Like, REALLY short.
You know how long my hair usually is in school?
Imagine it shorter.
That's right, it's THAT short.
And she likes it for some strange reason.
Probably just doesn't want to admit that I shouldn't have cut my hair.
I'd like to end off with a quote.
"jaime...can keep his hair long since he has been deprived of that for the past ever." -Jem
No comments:
Post a Comment